Are You The Kind Of Woman That You Think Men Want? Read Below To Find Out...
How much time do you spend trying to be the kind of woman you think men want?
If you're like most women, it's a LOT. You spend all this time making yourself look sexy and attractive.
All this time presenting yourself as fun, interesting, worldly, and not needy in the slightest. You spend all this time showing him just how good you'd be for him… How amazing his future would be if he chose you as the woman by his side…
And it doesn't work. It never works. WHY? Why do you work so hard…
And the guy in your life just takes you for granted, if he even notices you at all? It's probably because he's immature, right?
He can't recognize a good thing until it's gone. Or maybe… It's because you've been doing all the work for him.
If He Doesn't Work for Your Relationship, He Won't Value It
What men value most are those things they have to work hard to get.
Hand a man a college diploma, and he won't value it as much as if he'd had to put in years of study and effort to earn it.
Hand a man the perfect girlfriend, and he won't value her as much as if he'd had to woo her for weeks just to get her to go out with him. This is why playing hard to get works.
But, as you've probably already noticed…
There's a BIG problem with playing hard to get. That strategy stops working once he's actually got you.
Something happens when guys decide they've won you. It's almost like they think, “Game over.” Their minds are already on their next challenge. What is going on?!
And how can you stop it from wrecking your relationship?
It's Not Just You—ALL Women Experience This (That's Why They Ask for Help)
Many women give up on love. They never let themselves get too close to a man, for fear of scaring him off. But other women try a different approach. They get help. Relationship coach James Bauer is one of the people they turn to.
He noticed that many clients were coming to him, complaining about guys who were blowing hot and cold. Everything would be going great, and then it was like…
Something would change overnight.
A guy who'd been warm, affectionate and interested would suddenly become distant. He'd no longer have any time for her. He wouldn't smile in greeting. He'd stop making eye contact. His kisses were brusque. Wanting to help his clients, James investigated.
And what he discovered made sense of everything. He knew why these men were backing away. He knew what they needed … and what they weren't getting.
It didn't come down to anything wrong with these women.
Rather, it all came down to something he called “The Hero Instinct.”
Most Women Do Something that Drives Men Away… Without Ever Realizing It
You see, he wants to be your hero. He doesn't want you to be his hero.
Men love heroes. Look at how many grown men are still fascinated by Marvel comics and superhero movies.
Every man on Earth, from the time he was a boy, dreamed of growing up to be the kind of hero who would save the world—and get the girl at the same time.
Most men don't get to indulge their world-saving side in their 9-5 jobs.
Circumstances don't call for them to rip off their corporate ties and spring into action, revealing their superman side. Maybe they can't save the world. But they can still get the girl.
Getting the girl is a worthy challenge for an ordinary guy with the heart of a superhero. It takes superhuman confidence. Superhuman charm. Superhuman immunity to pain.
Now, all he needs to find is… A girl who needs a hero.
Do You Need a Hero? Let me guess… That's not you.
You're strong. You're independent. You can fix a leaky faucet. You can drive a stick shift. You can take care of yourself. You're never going to make that Jerry Maguire mistake of looking for a man to complete you.
Instead, you have a lot to offer a man. You're generous. Kind. Loving. Giving to a fault.
All you want is to find a man who's willing to receive all you have to give.
And that's why heroes aren't showing up in your life.
That's why you've ended up with so many takers instead. Guys who take everything you have and leave you high and dry. If you want a hero, then you need to advertise for one. Here's how.
3 Ways You Can Invite a Hero into Your Life, Starting Today
1. Ask a guy for help.
Ask him for advice on buying a new computer. Ask him to listen to that weird rattling sound that's started up in your car. Ask him to reach something on the top shelf.
Then thank him warmly, with a great big smile of appreciation. No, that doesn't make you needy. It makes you a woman with space for a man in her life.
2. Take pleasure in male company.
Guys love women who appreciate men for just being men. So what if his apartment is a shrine to sports? So what if he spends hours on his fantasy football team? So what if his idea of a clean shirt is the one with the fewest wrinkles?
He's a guy. It's okay. You don't need him to be more like you, because you've got the feminine side of the gender equation covered.
3. Let him earn your respect.
Superheroes love challenges. They don't want to be given a gold medal just for showing up. They don't want your love handed to them on a plate. They want to earn it.
There's one thing they crave even more than a woman's eternal enduring love: A challenge. So give him opportunities to prove himself. You don't have to do the work of winning him over. Sit back, relax, and allow him the pleasure of winning your admiration.
And there is so much more.
5 Behaviors That Can Kill Your Relationships
Relationships are challenging. It’s not something we’re taught in school, and most of us have few, if any, good role models to emulate. Understanding the most common behaviors that damage relationships can be a good first step to having a relationship that lasts.
See how many of these behaviors seem familiar, either in yourself or your partner.
These behaviors can doom a relationship to failure:
- Fear of intimacy. Maybe you want someone in your life, but you don’t want them getting too close. This is a common fear, particularly among men, but women also struggle with this relationship challenge. Eventually, your partner will become frustrated with the contrast between your need for love and your expectation of failure.
- Poor communication habits. This can include everything from not mentioning the little things that get on your nerves to just not communicating in a meaningful way on a daily basis. The quality of the communication is what ultimately determines how close you stay over the long run.
- Avoid fighting via text message. This is especially common with couples that are frequently separated by distance. This is a dangerous practice. We’re all a little bolder than we would normally be while texting. It’s also easy to misinterpret when you can’t hear or see the other person.
- Expecting the other person to figure out what’s bothering you. This is a common challenge. No matter how much the other person loves you, they can’t read your mind. Take responsibility for your happiness and need-fulfillment and let your partner know what you need.
- Avoidance. Many of us like to give the silent treatment when we feel annoyed or wronged. This accomplishes nothing other than escalating the situation. Your partner becomes resentful and less interested in resolving the issue.
- Insecurity. Insecurity is a relationship killer. You drive yourself and your partner crazy. This lack of confidence is unattractive. Your partner also eventually feels insulted. Insecurity can manifest itself in many ways:
- Are you frequently jealous? This can include your partner’s close friends and previous relationships.
- Do you analyze everything your partner says and does for some sign that they’re losing interest?
- Do you need constant reassurance that everything is okay?
- Do you spend more time worried about the stability of your relationship than you do enjoying it?
- If you have a lot of insecurity in your relationships, consider addressing your levels of self-confidence and self-esteem.
- A need for control. Do you feel the need to control every aspect of your relationship? No one likes to be dominated day in and day out. Ask yourself why you feel the need to control everything about your relationship and your partner. Micromanaging doesn’t work in the workplace, and it won’t work at home.
- This is commonly camouflaged as care-taking taken to the extreme. But caring for the other person isn’t the real purpose. The real purpose is control.
- Assuming the role of the martyr. “Nice guys” and many women often assume this role. They mistakenly believe that if they sacrifice enough in the name of their partner’s happiness, they’ll eventually get what they need in the end. Over time, this leads to a level of resentment that can never be satisfied.
Look at your past relationships and consider how many of these behaviors were present in yourself or the other person. By avoiding these common behaviors, you can give your relationships a much better chance of surviving and thriving.
Take a hard look at yourself and make the necessary adjustments. Great relationships make life an exciting and rewarding experience.
